February Update

Well, here is a bloggy kind of post. A 'feelings' update. What could be bloggier than that?

I have stopped annoying my Writer's Group associates. This accomplishment has involved little effort other than biting my tongue. And ceasing to insist on my own point of view. Effective, but not as easy as it sounds.

I have managed to get mostly out of my head. I simply could not get everything done I wanted to do, or even what I was obligated to do, or felt I should be obligated to do, and I finally had to admit that to myself and do something.

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I made a proposal to a place that had happily published me twice before and did not receive even a response from them. Not even a "No" or a "You've gotta be kidding." So, after spending hours on polishing and re-formatting to fit what I felt would be better for their needs, and sending two follow-up reminders, I formally withdrew my submission proposal.

A valued writer friend suggested that, ahem, (he didn't actually say "ahem" but he might as well have) perhaps my survey of what different Writer's Groups do was more emotionally personal than scientific.  As the expression goes, "busted". So, I have abandoned that as well as (temporarily no doubt) the personality defect that requires me to be right. And to prove it ad nauseum. 

This whole notion of "Write for yourself, not others" I think I have finally come to terms with.  (See, personality defect" above.) I have drawn on many sources for this reconciliation of thought.  Thank you, Mark Twain, Ernest Hemmingway, Stephen King and, locally, Margaret Bird, John Wilson, and Mary Frost. The culminating observation for me, though, was Margaret Atwood's.  She said, "when you write any book you do not know who's going to read it, and you do not know when they're going to read it. You don't know who they will be, you don't know their age, or gender, or nationality, or anything else about them. So books, anyway, really are like the message in the bottle." To this I would add - you don't know if anyone at all is going to read whatever you have written. So, I no longer feel the need to write an article on this topic. Much to my, and others', relief.

I decided to enter the writing contest and pay the fee. I should have followed the very sound advice I received - 'when you're submitting to a contest, write to your strengths, the kind of things you know you do well.' Of course, I decided to try stretch. (See "personality disorder" above.) When I finished the umpteenth draft, I ascertained that the response would be either "An important new voice in Canadian literature has emerged" or "What a mess. What could he have been thinking?" I asked someone to provide initial feedback. The word 'important' did not appear.

Next, I am going to produce a short piece of verse that I undertook to do as a contribution to a cooperative venture between two Writers Groups.

Then, I am going to format the children's book and seek out children's' 'focus groups' at a school and a library.

Then and only then, in the words of Joel McCrea in Ride the High Country, will I be able to "enter my house justified."

At least for now. [see PD above.]